The Assignment: Write a very brief story told only in images -- concrete, simple, visually efficient movements and details. This exercise does not ask you to eliminate people from your prose, just to watch what they do and what objects they crave and caress rather than what they say or think about these objects and actions. 300 words.
My Response:
He raised the fork to his mouth. Red sauce dripped off the fork, and a single curling noodle barely made it as he took the bite.
A slight scraping sound filled the air as the fork slid across his teeth, and he moved the utensil back to his plate, setting it down with a clatter as he chewed. His adam’s apple bobbed when he swallowed, and he paused, his hands moving to rub together in front of him.
A tiny dot of sauce rested on the corner of his mouth, but he made no move to wipe it away.
Once more he picked up the fork, digging into what was once a perfectly arranged plate. The square of lasagna was now spread across his plate, mingling with the green of his lettuce. The red sauce made it look as though it was bleeding. Cheese had been pushed aside, as it always was at first, and his fork flashed as it tore through the pale noodles.
Again he brought the fork to his mouth, and once more he paused in consideration while chewing.
“Well?” She asked.
His blue eyes flicked up to hers, amusement dancing across them, making them sparkle under the dim lights of the dining room.
“Well, what?”
His fork played with a piece of lettuce, but he made no move to bring it to his lips. It mixed the white dressing and sauce all the more until it turned pink.
“Do you like it?”
His twinkling eyes narrowed, as if he was trying to decide. Grabbing his fork he took another bite, holding up a single long finger while he chewed.
A bun flew across the room, crumbs streaming across the table until it smacked him in the chest, and he laughed a deep rumbling sound.
“It’s delicious.”
My Thoughts: This was the first exercise in the 'Images' section of the book. I'll admit, I was a little worried about it. If you ask my critique group they will no doubt tell you that my weakest point with writing is my description. I didn't know how well I was going to be able to write a story, even a short one like this, using only images. After all, I so enjoy living in my character's heads. But, I think it turned out well, don't you?
As always I would love to hear your opinions, and even to see something that you've come up with for the exercise. Post in the comments section below.
All exercises are taken from The 3 A.M. Epiphany by Brian Kiteley.
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